Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A Parent’s Life For Me

Home alone with the children this weekend.

How do these single moms and military wives do it? – Today I prayed for you!

The almost three year old is throwing a tantrum because he’s tired and hungry and he wanted to talk to grandpa on the phone but the call has already ended and mommy is trying to make dinner. The baby is crying, he’s tired too. So is mom. What a waste to make dinner for only myself and a child who eats less than a bird. I wish I could have talked myself into ordering that pizza.

Oh how I wish husband were home.

But I appease almost three year old with his favorite movie and while I stir sauce I bounce baby’s chair with my foot he finally falls asleep.

I let almost three year old eat in the living room even though it’s normally not allowed. When I dish up my own food I don’t feel like sitting at the table by myself.

There is a laundry basket full of clean clothes waiting to be folded.

I sit in it.

When I was little I used to love sitting in the basket of clean clothes, still warm from the dryer.

I eat my mini farfalle pasta in lemon butter cream sauce with bacon and romano cheese. I slow down and smile at the tiny little bow-ties. I buy them because they are so cute.

I feel like a little girl, sitting in the clean laundry, smiling at tiny pasta shaped like bow-ties.

And I feel like a little girl trying to raise these boys, take care of this husband, this house.

How did I get here, this little girl in grown-up’s skin?

I pray: Lord, give me strength.

Somedays I just want to hide in my room, pull the covers over my head and pretend all this responsibility doesn’t belong to me.

The further into this mothering journey I get the more I start to understand what it must have been like for my own mother. I am ashamed at my selfishness and I wonder how many times was I the cause of her hiding in her room?

Almost three year old walks into the room and laughs “Why are you sitting in there mommy?”

“Oh I’m just being a little bit silly.”

Dear reader, am I alone in my silliness? Do you sometimes feel like a child? Like you are not capable for the task set before you? What do you do when you just want to hide?

Please, impart your wisdom.

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6 responses to “Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A Parent’s Life For Me

  1. It doesn’t count as hiding if you’re in the laundry basket and a not-yet-three-year-old can find you.

  2. Hi Natasha, Anthony is my friend and he’s always silly! Being silly, being able to laugh, staying a little child: all these things make you a great mother. My husband is the king of silliness and our kids just adore him!

    When I walked out of the hospital with our first child, I was really surprised no one stopped me. I didn’t feel qualified to have the responsibility of this precious new baby. Yes, the responsibility can seem overwhelming sometimes and we doubt our ability. But our children think we are just perfect. They have complete confidence in us. And what could be better than being a mother surrounded by such unconditional and complete love?

    I know you had a lonely weekend without your husband, but I appreciated the fact you had some time to yourself and were able to write to me. Always good to chat. May God bless you.

  3. I forgot to say how much I enjoyed your post. You express your thoughts in such an engaging way. Keep posting!

  4. This is a beautiful post. And Yes! I relate! ๐Ÿ˜€ First of all, when you are a “single-parent-sorta'” breaking “rules” becomes the rule. I find I have to be really flexible with what my idea of family looks like. It isn’t always sitting around the table with a home cooked meal. It just isn’t realistic!

    Today, the house was exploding all over itself. I felt so overwhelmed when the kids and I entered the home after running errands. My husband is sleeping and getting ready to work a 30 hour shift. No “back-up” is waiting in the wings and it has already been a really long…year. But, silly inspiration hit me.

    The kids and I quickly drew up a color coded list of chores. And then we set the timer. We just KNEW the wicked-scary-witch-of-Wakiki was on her way to “get us” if we couldn’t get through those chores before the timer beeped. We were MOTIVATED. My 9 year scrubbed the bathroom (he’s never done that before). My 7 year old and I fleeew through folding and putting away 3 loads of clean laundry. My 5 year old nervously (and very quickly) swiffered the floors. We scrubbed, windexed, picked-up and organized all with gleeful “fear” and motivation to have the protective shield of a clean house go up and keep the wswow (see above) away!

    We did it. Just. In. The. Nick. Of. Time. ๐Ÿ™‚ And, not a single person complained. And I found myself hurrying with the same nervousness I did when my mom warned me about the wicked witch from down the street. And now it is done. And we collapsed on the couch to watch a show (a little reward) and enjoy popsicles. ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Hi Natasha, I found your blog link from my dear blogging friend, Sue Elvis. I love her posts! I don’t have any words of wisdom since I’m a mother of one – an almost 11 year old boy but, I wholeheartedly believe that God gives us mothers the grace and strength to raise His precious children. You’re doing a fabulous job!

  6. Hi ๐Ÿ™‚
    I’m so glad I found your blog (through Sue). I love the way you write and understand so many of your thoughts:
    “Somedays I just want to hide in my room, pull the covers over my head and pretend all this responsibility doesnโ€™t belong to me” – this sounds so familiar. It’s hard. Real hard. But so worth it.
    Sorry I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, but I’m looking forward to more blog posts.
    God bless,
    Natalie
    ps I love Conversion Diary and In the Heart of my Home too

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