My second son is just over three months old.
That first six weeks was bliss.
I let go of all the things that “needed” to be done and just drank in the moments. Things seemed as close to perfect as here ever gets. My perfect little baby and my perfect big boy. Big boy was at such a fun stage, always telling us how cute his little brother was, telling us fantastic stories, playing well on the floor while mama took care of the new baby. But somehow my toddler turned into a preschooler. And I missed it. And we drifted.
My attention turned to the state of the house and the starry-eyed babymoon was over. Now the big boy wants this but mama can’t get it because she’s feeding the baby and the big boy needs that but you’ll have to wait because the baby is almost asleep and I can’t play right now because the baby needs changed and rocked and fed again.
I think he’s feeling a little bitter. And I don’t blame him. Mama’s not very good at this balancing act.
I’m touch weary. Please don’t touch me.
The baby is finally asleep and the last thing I want to do is play dinosaurs again. And the laundry needs done and the dishes are calling.
But big boy needs me. He’s my baby too.
So dear friends, how do you give the time to each child who needs it? How do you make yourself excited to play dinosaurs again? How do you nurture that relationship with your baby who isn’t the baby anymore?
Please, impart your wisdom.
I’m a perfectionist. But not one of those perfectionist that does everything perfectly. I’m, you know, the other kind.
The kind that works something to death trying to make it perfect until it looks so horrible you have to throw it away.
The kind that wants everything to be perfect before she starts something, so she never starts.
The kind that thinks one day such and such will happen and I won’t have to deal with that annoying problem thus everything will be perfect and I can do this and that.
That kind of perfectionist. Hence my word(s) for 2011 are HERE and NOW. So far I can say that I have failed dismally in applying these words to my everyday life.
I’m not sure why I’m this way. Maybe it has something to do with growing up in a religion that tells you can be perfect. On your own. Regardless, it does tend to get in the way (see previous post).
So dear friends, how do you overcome perfectionism?
Impart your wisdom.
I’ve been longing for a familiar routine to the day, for peace, for rhythm. So I asked some friends who are older and wiser what to do. They told me something I already knew but that God needed to tell me again.
I have a habit of making Him do that.
It reminds me of a story I read in My Life with the Saints
. The words “Take nothing with you for your journey” follow this guy around. At first he thinks it’s just coincidence but he literally finds them everywhere,in places he never expected. Finally he prays. “Seven is supposed to be a lucky number, so if you show this to me for the seventh time, I will give away all my possessions.” I’m sure, wise friends, you know what happens next.
Sometimes God has to beat us with his directions. (And I complain when I have to repeat directions to my toddler. Sheesh!) A few weeks ago I read this post
and this post
. Husband and I even worked on a daily schedule that included the Liturgy of the Hours but it lasted all of two days before I decided the house needed to be clean before I could keep to this new schedule (a post on how YOU overcome perfectionism to come).
As I opened each email I too found the same words again and again. It shouldn’t have been a surprise- pray the Hours and plan your mealtimes. After all shouldn’t our domestic monasteries follow a similar schedule to the non-domestic variety? Just check out the sense in another post
from Jennifer Fulwiler.
So dear friends, how does the rhythm of your home go? What are/were the young children doing while you prayed? How do you plan your meals? And speaking of meals, coming to a blog near you- “Help Me Learn to Like Vegetables.”
Impart your wisdom.
I’m a 20 something stay-at-home mom to two adorable little boys. I have an adoring husband who is growing up to be a
rock star theologian/philosopher and is currently studying civil engineering. I’m a convert from Mormonism to Protestantism to Catholicism. I’m shy, a little disorganized, sometimes disheveled and usually do super awesome things overly ambitious. I love books and cooking gourmet. I’m attempting to teach myself to knit, trying to grow in my Catholic faith, and hoping to be the best mommy I can to the amazing blessings God has given me.
Why I started this blog
Shy + leaving the faith of your childhood + moving six times in the last five years + two young children + a husband who selflessly travels an hour away every weekend to help his parents in building their new house = really hard to find and keep good friends and mentors and every mother needs that!
Where you come in
As a young mother I know there are a lot of women out there who have been there done that. If you have some advice, tips, encouragement, quotes, what-not-to-do stories, book recommendations, etc. please share.
( Guys are, of course, welcome as well!)